in bereavement support really began in 1999. I lost my  job at a local bank and after grieving the loss, I did a life review. For me, a life review was making a list of weaknesses, strengths, and the desires of my heart. I began volunteering in different organizations, which eventually led to a conversation with the director of hospice, palliative care, oncology, and home care, who asked me if I had ever thought about going into health care. Puzzled by the question, I said no. But I asked why she brought it up. She mentioned CPE or clinical pastoral education, and  said that I should talk to the current chaplain about the program. Four units of CPE later, I quit working in banking and was hired as the hospice chaplain covering southern Wisconsin and northern Illinois.

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I was then introduced to Dr. Wolfelt of Companioning the Griever. Dr. Wolfelt was the featured speaker at a crisis intervention conference in LaCrosse, Wisconsin in 2012. I was immediately intrigued by his enthusiasm for the concept of companioning or coming alongside a grieving person suffering the loss of a loved one.

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I have heard phrases such as, "no rewards for speed," "you need to feel it to heal it," "heal at your own pace," "little deaths," and "dosing your grief." Dr. Wolfelt has talks about the importance of linking objects, how mourning loss should soften over time, and how important it is to create a sacred space for mourners. As he writes, "A griever needs to give mourning the attention it deserves otherwise it can come back and smack you in the face."

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Words have significant meaning, words are comforting, and words can bring healing as individuals are encouraged to mourn from the head to the heart. I have been blessed to journey with individuals or grief groups that were willing to go through the door of grief -- being present for them no matter how long it takes. There are two avenues to grief, one leads to healing, and the other doesn't.